share a coke with your own crippling sense of loneliness and inability to be mentally present in the real world
having my quarterly i miss russia moment.
i found this comic deep on my computer, i’m pretty sure it was part of a larger series on panic attacks i was thinking about doing in like 2010. it’s pretty sketchy/hard to read, and i think made with mspaint, but also i like the colors, the terrible middle school outfits,my gross haircut and the expressions!
but the hard truth of no one noticing you’re gone / other telling depression symptoms / tricking the dj into playing the gummy bears theme / only having fun (aka not having a panic attack) when dancing with some drunk kid (would’ve been the next scene)
childhood/adolescence was absurd. don’t forget.
(as always apologies to all likenesses i tried to capture)
Here’s a photo of a mystery cathedral ceiling, Ben doing open mic for the first time, and my neighbor’s sunflowers which fell over today. It used to be two stories tall.
things that went wrong today:
- i am covered in spray adhesive
- the spray adhesive didn’t work more than half the time in the project, so i wasted a lot of money on paper and spray adhesive. i’m basically rabo karabekian. (he’s a sad artist in a kurt vonnegut book)
- i feel incredibly sick still
- i got ink all over my hand-dyed dress.
but yeah. not an all bad day. i used the posterpress for the second time with really good results, and i’m lucky to have art jobs work out okay this month, but i’m still stressed and doing art isn’t calming me so aughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i’m at a bit of am emotional tipping point so apologies for any moody vibes i send off lately y’all.
kudos to myself for getting through today, while also calming a few people down, despite falling apart inside.